I am a 45-year-old woman who, for the first time in her life, had the thought of “Hey, why not start a blog? I think it would be fun. It might help me find more information and have a better understanding of the changes that I am going through as a middle-aged woman. Please, keep in mind, I am no writer or storyteller. This is completely out of my comfort zone. I am just an ordinary person who wants to share her story in hopes that it might help me and maybe someone else if I decide to publish my blog.

Before I start writing about the main issue here, I want to add a side note about an event that happened to me. In August, 2022, I was involved in a car accident. Nothing serious, thank God. It was a rear end hit. There were 3 vehicles involved. I suffered some whiplash and since then, my life hasn’t been the same. I am currently awaiting surgery to replace 3 discs on my neck. Hopefully it will happen soon. I am praying to God it does. Now that has been said, let’s move on.

Let me tell you a little bit of my history with depression. 13 years ago, I went through Postpartum depression. This was my very 1st time dealing with depression. Went to see my Dr and we decided to place me on Wellbutrin. My Dr explain to me that it will take about 14 days for the medication to be completely in my body.and if on the 14th day, I started having suicidal thoughts, to call her immediately. Also, to find a therapist. So I did. I looked and looked for a therapist. I believe I went to 3 different therapists. All of them seem to be so general. Not a personal touch at all. I was not about all of that. I didn’t like the way the meds made me feel. I felt like a walking zombie. Then, the 14th day came and I immediately started having suicidal thoughts. I called my Dr, told her what was happening. She took me off the meds and placed me on disability for a month. After a whole month of rest, I felt better but at the same time, it felt like I had to rush things because of my job, my marriage, my family. It was like whatever was not worked on, it got brushed under the rug. Had to do it, Life goes on right?

Around September of last year when it hit me like a right hook from “Mike Tyson” it came out of nowhere. 1, 2, 3 and you are out. TKO. Oh my goodness, what was that? I immediately felt ill. My neck pain got 100% worse. My sunny days turned into rainy gray days. I felt so sad. I spend my days in bed. I was falling into the abyss and I had no idea the mental turbulence that I was about to endure. TO BE CONTINUE…